Reel Big Fish

Hello all and how are you? Tonight I join listening to Reel Big Fish, after many weeks of not writing.

I am a student and so finals and the related homework and studying got in the way of my time to write this blog. Excuses aside, I am back and here we go again.

During the last few weeks of this semester I found myself preparing for all these exams and worse of all writing a 12 page paper which for some reason continued to cause my anxiety to say the least, despite my already being prepared to write it with sources and an outline and everything. I was choreographing for a dance class final performance and still working in the mornings at 5 am, for some reason 20 hours a week during finals. As the weeks of school dwindled and I just crawled and struggled through the last few days, my mood was deteriorating to say the least. I was on less then 2 hours a sleep a night for a longer period then I would like, and there was seemingly no time to relax for another few days. You get the picture..

As I sped down the freeway to school, trying to stay awake and trying to stay positive despite the sensations of exhaustion and loss of morale I was experiencing, I did something I hadn't done for a week or so. I turned on some music. To be specific, an old favorite of mine from high school, Reel Big Fish. It was music I had defined myself by for several years, it had been the music of my "clique" and my identity.

I had been trying to stay positive listening to "morningcoach.com" podcasts and meditating and relaxing other ways. But until that moment I hadn't listened to music for days.

I was instantly revitalized as I recklessly took a turn at speeds which tend to make my passengers cringe. I heard the horns and the distorted guitar of my high school days and I found the energy I thought I had already lost for the day. It restored my mood and brought me back to myself and I will admit even made me quite emotional for seemingly no real reason.

The moral of the story? At least for me-

Personal developement podcasts and literature are great. Meditation can be soothing. Sleep is a blessing. But when all else fails-

-Music can bring me around and set me right like nothing else.


So if youre feeling down and out or even if you feel great, get out that old high school favorite and let it blast as you drive down the street and just feel that nostalgia and

Life: No False Experience

Today I write with Sufjan Stevens, and his song "The Man of Metropolis Steals Our Hearts" off of his album, "Chicago".

Do you trust yourself? 

We are all guilty of self doubt from time to time. Many times we find that our instincts were right all along and that we could have saved alot of trouble for ourselves and others if we had just followed them. This lesson learned about ourselves is sometimes forgotten and days, weeks, and months later we can find ourselves in the same troubled place. 

And then... we have to relearn it.... which is always a mess!

Its important to follow your instincts but also to question. The difference between self doubt and questioning life lessons from your past is that one is motivated by insecurity and a lack of confidence and the other, by curiousity, and a will to grow. 

We all learned when we were young that everyone is a person. It was the moral of many stories. At the end of the day the good guys show us this lesson as plain as day, and occassionally even the bad guys humanize themself for a single chapter in the story. 

But the truth of the matter applies not just to the good guys as many of us were taught as children, but to everyone. Everyone... no exceptions. Every last pretty girl. Every last bum,  jerk, fool and psychotic,  along with any other labels you can assign a human being. 

We react daily with these labels instead of the people inside. We forget the lesson learned. Sure it was learned in idealism, but does that make it less valid? There is a growing misconception that idealsim is a synonym for falsehood and we as individuals can put a stop to it. In the end it is very difficult to be the sort of people we imagine we are capable of. The sort of person who is protagonist of our personal stories and fantasies. 

It sure would be nice to live in a world where people are just like they dream themselves to be. There would be no villians.  Its harder to be the hero!The lover! The adventurer! 

Its harder to be the idealist...The next time you find youself saying 

"It sure would be nice but-"   stop yourself before the "but"

Because , it sure would be nice.

Thanks for reading.

The Musical Compass

Tonight I am writing with the opening track of the "Mr Hollands Opus" soundtrack entitled, "Mr Holland Begins".

So here we are. My first blog entry.

The Musical Compass is my new blog about navigation by music. Not literally. In fact it is more of a blog about the navigation of life, and in my personal life, music has always been there.
My name is Chris. To me there is nothing like that moment when you crest a hill or open your door and the music in your ears (ipod or otherwise) rises to the same occassion. It provides the score to your life. More and more people are enjoying that phenominon thanks to the popularity of the ipod and other portable music players. We are each given that chance tosoundtrack our own lives with an ever changing mix of legally and illegally aquired music.
The music you choose says alot about you. There is a workbook entitled, "How You Do Anything is How You Do Everything", by Cheri Huber. In her book you fill in all the pages by yourself, any way you want. You can draw on them, write in prose, or poetry, even burn the book if its how you react to it. There is no wrong answer. I think the music we choose works the same way.

This brings us to the compass , or navigation part of the title "musical compass". If the music you listen to , and keep with you says alot about you, then what does it say? I find myself, this very night struggling to find my purpose. I am part of a band here in maryland, and we had our first live show yesterday. I wasnt happy with it, but people loved it and I suppose thats all we can hope for really. I want to write a song myself, to contribute to our band and I dont know what to write about. I should write what I am passionate about! Well... here is our crossroads.
Here I am stuck with the very question I try to answer by filling my life with so many activities and otherwise productive things; What is my purpose?

Perhaps my music can tell me. One of the first songs on my list is "Stars and the Moon" from Jason Robert Brown's "Songs for a New World". It tells the story of a young woman who always felt she new what she wanted. She is given the chance with a young man who cant offer her anything , but the stars, the moon, a soul to guide her, and the promise he will never go. She passes him up, and passes the next man up who offers her spontaneaty and a reckless through life... She is certain she wants a life, with expensive cars, a beautiful home, a yacht and all these wonderful things, and in the end she gets it. She gets it all but in the end she realizes, she'll never have those immaterial things she could have had with the first man.

I have answered one tiny piece of my own question. I am no closer to finding my purpose, technically. But I know that I value the stars, the moon, and the company of someone who will help me grow and appreciate me. I admire the beauty of the world, and lucky for me, there is so much of it out there. Maybe my next purpose in life, can be to go find some of it and just....take it in.

Thats all for now. Take in some beauty from the world, when the sun rises this morning, or when the clouds look like faces, and have a good day.